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| Anthony Fairweather |
Did you know when you dial 0870, it costs 20p a minute, part going to the company you're calling - who make money by keeping you waiting' - so says July's Write Angle guest performer, Anthony Fairweather..But you can look up 'saynoto0870' on the web and call alternative free numbers! Did you know 'they lessen the numbers of cars in a train, raise the fare to make more money and save on labour'- another way for the rich to get richer and the poor, poorer. One moment, he's talking to the audience, next, he's ranting a poem as part of his natural conversation. And he hits hard with cynicism – the running theme of this very talented poet - the political system; the workforce and company values, TV and the news...including:
A parody on Rudyard Kipling, 'if you can keep your home while all about you are losing theirs, if you can refuse to tell the truth when in the dock, cheat the people, lie and manipulate, 'you'll be an MP, my son – 'you need no qualification to be an MP. For every other job, there's an induction'. If MPs did need one, Human Resources would arrange to 'teach all the tricks you need to know to be a first class liar; have your conscience removed.'
He watches TV, turned on channel 3 and wondered why there was no news about Afghan or Iraq - but Coronation Street! (where has the news gone?) And the BBC weather report becomes a 'guess' – as the software suddenly fails. In corporate middle management, he tells of someone who worked 24/7. ''you're the bossman. You've got it all. Possessions, a wife and family' - but you worked yourself to death' and 'I may have nothing but I'm happy'! Marketers make money with vandalised phone boxes 'we hope you find this phone box is in working order. If not, please call 0870.....'
Anthony asks how Moira Stuart , black middle aged and female, manages to be as youthful as when he was a child. He speaks of nervous breakdowns, - many caused by working too hard at dull jobs including filing, (new files, open files, close files, store files, more files etc etc'... – the poem was brilliant), photocopiers (Bow down and worship the photocopier) – Anthony finally found his way back up and out of it. 'now just a resource in your work force'! Anthony is a very clever and amazingly fast paced poet with a flair for getting at the system! He sings too – and very well – a bonus to his act! .
Bill Don, who started the evening, did stand-up comedy. 'My dad's looking down on me. He's not dead – just condescending'. This reviewer was most amused by the unexpected phone call which had Bill looking at his underwear. 'Pale blue' he said, and hung up. I'm an only child' he said. 'It upsets my sister' This is his 4th time at the mic and he's 'getting there'. He had the audience in stitches till he went back to his seat!
Her first time on stage, Tasha Finn read 'You dumped me by text' and 'He's decided to say 'I love you' but it's too late. I think I'll start to date'. She got strong applause. Jake commented 'this is obviously fictional. You'll have to do something more autobiographical next time!' Everyone laughed. Bing, another first timer at our mic, read 3 love poems written to him. First, going back 25 years, then 3 weeks and one received that morning! Ivor Bundell first read a poem about 'walk about phones always disappearing. 'One remains. The other is in a distant constellation'. He changed from his English cap to a fez, took his mandolin and sang about 'Randall', who he met in Rhodes. And, the sperm whale that wouldn't be caught!
The 'charismatic' Jezz then took guitar and sang 'The Port of Amsterdam' – not for the first time but obviously a favourite of the audience. Then, what he calls 'The Loverly Song', 'If I were a fridge, would you open the door...' Both Ivor and Jezz were obvious 'hits' with the audience. Music goes with poetry like wine goes with a meal!
David Roberts did a poem about 'Daddy Long Legs'. Then 'Shadows and Fog' 'Don't try to understand everything'. Then, 'Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy', about everyone in love with everyone else – like a soap opera. (David's tribute to Woody Allen?) Sven Stears performed 'King Queen and Jack'. - a love poem 'I want to eat you with my heart' and 'I take the floor away but only to keep you falling for me' (good line). 'Let's play real house more than playing cards! Then, Attack of the Flight that Ain't Visible. (referring to different parts of the human condition). Chris Sparkes did 'One Thousand Minutes', describing how light from the galaxy takes 13 billion years. Light of 93 billion planets reaching earth. Looking in a mirror is 1000 millionth of a minute. If you want to look younger, stand further back!' (hopefully correct?). Whatever, everyone laughed and appeared to give it great thought! Michael Usuwana performed 'Ashes to Ashes' 'Money labels you. Life aint no joke when you're broke' but he 'Won't lose his soul for money, power or greed
Barry Smith did an interesting poem on 'twins' – conjoined and con-fused together. Not Siamese! Though stuck together, they still 'seek the thrill of edging near forbidden fruit' and seek 'where the shadowy other self awaits'. A very good poet. And his love for flowers and nature was displayed in 'Ventnor Botanic Gardens'. 'Spillage' 'Here is the sight of surrender. And, wanting to do a poem in the present generation, he followed a conversation in Evening Standard. 'Katy Says'..'Like..I'm like a real woman...' (Like a good effort at how today's generation communicates)! Dave Allen, beaten by Anthony Fairweather in a recent poetry contest, tried out a new one. 'This poem is increasingly at an exponential rate...'. The audience loved it! Dave's a charmer who enjoys trying out new work!'. He then read 'Cynthia' who he loved, but who loved someone else!' Another good poetry performance!
Audi Maserati, last but far from least, read from his collection of poems 'written in his cave'. 'You Have Me, Baby!' One could just see her crossing- one jeaned leg over the other. Her words tumbling, and the steam on the window! A fab love poem! Then, inspired by Bertold Brecht, 'The General's Lunch'. 'A thousand pair of boots are sucking a thousand pairs of feet into the stinking mud and one pair of boots is catching the sunshine. (love it!) Without Audi, Write Angle just wouldn't be...! But then, each performer adds their own to the evening and this one was really full of good talent and high spirit. And thanks to a large fab audience, showing appreciation at every turn!
The raffle was for a free meal for two at 'The Jolly Drover'. Another good evening come to a close!
